February 27, 2005

Things that start with Ca.

For the sake of having a themed blog for a day, here's a few things I'd like to share with you. These things all begin with Ca, and I have an opinion for each of them. I may need a dictionary.

First, there's California. According to Wikipedia, California is 'a state located in the western United States, bordering the Pacific Ocean'. It's official nickname is 'The Golden State', which I think is kind of dumb because it just shows that they're proud of all the grass dying in the summer. Here's something I didn't know - The name comes from a spanish novel Las sergas de Espladián, where there is an island paradise named California. Its capital is Sacramento, and it has the motto of "Eureka!" (What? California doesn't have anything to do with Archimedes or volume displacement...). California also has The Governator at its golden grassy helm.

Something else beginning with Ca is Cancer, which is quickly supercedeing money as the root of all evil in the world. Cancer is a malignant growth or tumour, caused by abnormal and uncontrolled cell division. I don't like cancer, it kills people without knowing it. It's like a small innocent toddler that has found the keys to his mother's car and decided to take a drive to the sunday market, but hasn't realised that the sunday market is crowded. While mowing down people, he giggles at the fuzzy dice dangling from the rear-view mirror, and wiggles the stearing wheel a bit more because he's seen his mother do it a bit more.

Candy starts with Ca. 'Candy' is a word widely used in the US, as in the UK it has been replaced with 'sweets' or 'lollies'. Here in New Zealand, 'lollies' is used, and 'candy' is used when somebody wants to sound nice or is making an arse of themselves. A famous saying involving Candy is 'to steal candy from a baby', which implies something is very easy to do. However, stealing candy from a baby isn't very easy at all - First, you must find a baby that has an ignorant enough mother who allows her children to eat candy freely without any ocncern for their dental hygiene. Then, the mother has to turn away long enough for you to yoink the candy out of the small child's hand, without disturbind it often cries when it finds that the sticky mess that it once had isn't there anymore. Ignorant mother gets involved, and more often than not tackles you as you run away, because ignorant mothers enjoy playing contact sports that involve tackling. Perhaps we should set attempt to steal cancer's candy - Just to see what that murderous toddler's mother is like.

Cars are the bane of my existence. I think. I don't like to drive them, they make loud noises, I avoid markets like the plague because of cancer driving around in his car, and they polute the air. I'd much rather walk, thank you very much. Besides, shoes are much cheaper than cars, and there's the added bonus of exercise. Or, get me a scooter (moped). Much more economical, and much more comical.

Here's something for you Canadians out there. I personally think Canadians are a wonderful bunch of people, judging from the ones I've met, and uphold the opinion that Canadians are pretty damn cool. many Canadians can speak French, and even more speak English. They have a wonderful habit of adding 'Hey?' to the end of every question, which is better than the Scottish saying 'Aye', because you think that the Scottish are going to start talking about themselves, when they're only just agreeing with you. Canada has beautiful roads, and it's flag is red and white. Everyone knows Red is the fastest colour. Although my jandals are black, and they're pretty damn fast... Maybe black comes in at a close second.

A cauldron is a large metal boiling pot, commonly used by witches to make various potions and leprechauns for keeping treasure in. In Final Fantasy VII, a Cauldron is an item acquired from Zombie Dragons in the Northern Crater, and causes various status effects to one enemy.

My word of the day is Catatonia. It is a severe psychological condition, characterized by stupor and excitement. Catatonic stupor has an absence of motor activity, and Catatonic excitement involves violent hyperactive behaviour for no reason or purpose. It can be treated with the drug Benzodiazepine.

On another note, here's your chance to change the world forever. Go to this site, and vote for Brad's Mom. It won't take long, and it's relatively painless. Remember to spell it properly.

Goodbye.

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