February 26, 2005

By Request

This won't make sense at all, but I promised Rox that it'd be up here.

Jimmy the Giant Grape
Wisdom wishes to give Force Man some advice, but she can't. She's illiterate.
"Oh no, it's Max Density!" exclaimed Force Man, "I think I peed a little. I know, I will swim to the bottom of the sea to fetch a giant natural sponge!"
On his way to the beach, he met movement man.
"Oh, Movement Man, the world needs you!" Force Man cried.
"How wonderful! I've been meaning to do something."
"Good. Cheerio!"
"Tata" said Movement Man as he moved in differing speeds toward the city.

Force Man then jumped on a horse and started to gallop to the nearest bath house 'cos he stank. But the horse had gangrene in his leg and he fell over and Force Man rolled all over the ground. The Horse, which was named Spiderman, was in terrible pain so Force Man called YOU THE GUN GIRL to come and shoot Spiderman and relieve him of his misery.
"Thank you, You. You, you are an amazing asset to this fine country of... Dramysics.
"Goodbye! Wooo!"
And You the Gungirl Wood off into the distance.

Force Man, realising his folly (what folly?), started walking toward the sea to find his natural sponge, which he needed to make a seafood salad out of stuff found in the depths of Max Density's highly compacted innards, somewhere near the spleen.
Quick Quizz: Who weighs more - Force Man, who is fat; or Max Density, who is the largest amount of matter.
When Force Man found the secret superb fantabukous OMG super freakin' underwater hydro base top secret OMGOMGLOL!!!111one of DOOM underwater, he was mildly surprised and particularly amused. He swam toward it, while Movement Man (where'd he come from?) jumped up and down on gun girl to get to the roof of an ice cream van to get his beach ball down. Spongebob showed his ____ face and said
"I'm here to help!"
But Force Man, who only has a level 2 mentality, had been easily distracted by the colours on his hat, boots, and necklace.

His necklace was swaying in the wind, pretty colours everywhere.
Swaying.
Back and forth, back and

Force Man became hypnotised, and threatened to be damned if he ever called his son Jack again. His son was rather confused by the stamp tax and all the zombies that enforced it with mind control necklaces, frogs, and beach balls. His son, Jennifer, caught a glimpse of his dad in his softball glove and decided he looked like a pirate or pimp due to his alliteration of things he had seen.
Movement Man's beach ball was currently on a wonderful adventure with Molly Mandarin, but that story goes out of the scope (and intellectual understanding) of this current thread.

One day Movement Man's very good friend Jimmy was travelling with him through Dramysics forest, listening to the song Parvana. All of a sudden, a young kung-fu chick called Parvana dropped down from the forest, and calmly said:
"I am not Esther."
Which was, funnily enough, true. However, a wild boar came out of the bushes and gored her through the head, at which she remarked:
"Silly boar, I know kung-fu and karate and other shit you can't pronounce and..."
Despite the implications of the text she did not die, but instead she beat the bejeezus out of the boar.
"Thank you, Esther" said Movement Man.
"I am not Esther" said Parvana calmly to the audience.
She then proceeded to beat the bejeezus out of Movement Man and Jimmy.

Jimmy ate the apple. It was good and being fresh from the boar's mouth was covered in bacteria infested saliva.
When Jimmy returned home he was first complemented on his deep purple complexion as a result of the beating from kung-fu chick. He was then kicked out of his tribe as cannabilism is not accepted there, and Jimmy, a grape, had just eaten an apple who was infact the brother-in-law of his aunty's second cousin's niece's uncle-in-law who was the leader of the tribe. Jimmy then went on a cannabilistic rage eating all the apples, grapes, grapples, and apes, thus making him a GIANT grape.

Meanwhile, Force Man was looking for something colourful, juicy, and rhyming with shape for a pie he was making. About... now, his parallel self died, which made him internally depressed. But that's all the apple's fault. Anyway.
Back on the farm, Jimbo was cooking apples, but this story has nothing to do with anything.
Jimmy the Giant Grape met Force Man in Dramysic's beauty parlour. Force Man, who was still looking for a firm purple substance to put into his pie, saw the giant grape rolling away down the hall, and ran after it as fast as his fat little legs would carry him.
Jimmy, seeing he was being chased by a superhero, decided to turn evil himself. He clicked his fingers and produced a giant grape-pip launcher and went about shooting pips through Force Man's and Force Man's granny's windows.
Force Man, who was still following Jimmy for his pie, decided to use a bicycle, as it was faster than other options such as a jet engine or a time machine. So Force Man peddled away as fast as he could and soon enugh he was outside the bath house and chasing Jimmy. Jimmy ducked, but as he ducked he fell into a giant vat of grapes being prepared for uses in alcoholic drinks. These grapes all said to him "Hello stranger" in swahili, he didn't understand.
Force Man took his chance and quickly dived in to search for giant grape Jimmy.
"Burble," said Force Man, his mouth full of grapes.
"Burble," said Jimmy, because he was suhc a copycat.
"Burble," said the rest of the grapes for no reason at all.

Force Man then met his Jamaican counterpart Force Mon in the bottom of the barrel, and exchanged stories about their childhood dreams and aspirations for the future. This happened to be overheard by a swahilian winemaker, who wrote this into Lord of the Rings. In reality, Tolkien was a swahilian winemaker, who dieded at age 22 from lung cancer, before someone found a cure.
After having a long conversation with the swahilian grapes, the bilingual Force Man got offered a sackful of grapes to make his pie with. He took them, and by pure coincidence Jimmy was the only grape in the sack.
So Jimmy was made into pie and eaten by Force Man and Force Mon.

Is this the end? Are we there yet?

It depends on whether or not Spongebo invites them over to play extreme jacks. Is he does, then it is the end... otherwise...

This story will continue when I get more paper.



Is this made no sense, then good. It wasn't supposed to. You know those word-at-a-time stories? This was one of those, done in History. It was four-words-at-a-time, and it quickly deteriorated into a write-as-much-as-you-want-and-then-pass-it-on-at-a-time story.
I was the lucky one who got to keep the paper. Rox wanted it.

Sigh.

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